Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Daddy Issues and Loss...


Love the people God gave you because He will need them back one day!


So those of you who read my blog regularly know these facts about me...


I was previously married and divorced.
I had a dad that I wasn't close to later (38ish) to find out he wasn't my dad that his half-brother was.
I never grew up with a dad.
When I divorced I felt like I was the one to lose family and friends.
I've since remarried and I'm very happy and have acquired new family and friends but still, some days miss those I lost.
I do have a relationship with my biological dad but we live 6 hours away from each other and only see each other once a year.


I know the kind of stuff books are made of or at least Soap Operas & Wrestling Story Lines.


Anyway, yesterday I was leaving my clients house and I got a text from my ex-husband to let me know that his dad had just passed away. My kid's grandpa. And the first man that treated me as a daughter.







He loved me and respected me and stuck up for me we I didn't get it from others. I had to come home and explain to the kids that their Grandpa died. He was 90 so some would say that he lived his life (which he did) and that it's really not that huge of a loss. I struggle with that because no matter how young or how old someone is when you lose someone it's a loss! It hurts and it sucks. Now for me, I feel like I lost him 4 years ago and I'm losing him again! No matter if his son and I didn't work out he was still my dad for 14 years of my life. That is huge for me.


The fact is he was the first dad to call me "My girl" and hug me when I was upset.

So I'm trying to deal with it without offending anyone as it could very well happen. Some would question my grief I'm sure. I am trying to see my kids through who are all at different stages of their grief. The 15-year-old is angry, The 12-year-old is physically not feeling well and The 8-year-old is emotional & just upset about everything.

Anyway, the bottom line is I loved Marshall Leavitt and he loved me back the way a dad would and should and for that, I'm both thankful and lonely.

Bottom line loss sucks!








RIP Marshall, you will be missed by family, friends & ex-daughters.


5 comments:

  1. Nobody should question your grief, Michelle. He was your father-in-law and you loved each other. Of course you are going to be sad that he's gone! And I don't know how your grief could possibly offend *anyone*. If it does, that's totally not your problem. Love and hugs, my friend.

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  2. Thanks Tricia... The chances are good that people are not offended and it's me worrying too much.

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  3. I think that's it. If anything, Marshall's family members should be touched that you cared so much for him. :^)

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  4. A true Father isn't based on blood, its based on love and respect. Anyone that questions you should look into their own hearts and do some soul searching. My prayers for you and your family.

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