We've all seen them in public. THAT FAMILY. . .the one with the toddler
screaming in the aisles of the grocery store, or with the boy crying and pounding
his fist on the ground. We watch their
parents and think “They should do something. I would NEVER let my child act
like that.” I know my pre-children days
I used to say “When I have kids, they will never act like that! Seriously, do parents have any sense at all?” Well, now that I’m a little older, a mother
of a 16 year old, 13 year old and an almost 10 year old and work with families on a
daily bases I tend to think differently of the screaming, crying fist pounding
toddlers.
My co-worker mentioned this site to me last week and I thought it was a great site to share with you.
Triple P’s approach to positive parenting is based on some
very simple ideas that have been proven to help make raising children
easier. These are Triple P’s five key
steps to positive parenting:
- Create a safe, interesting environment. Children need to play, explore and investigate their world to develop essential skills so it’s important to create a safe home environment. With knives out of reach, chemicals and medicine locked away and knee pads around for bike or skateboard riding, parents won’t be constantly on red alert. Also, make sure there are lots of interesting things for a child to do. It does not need to be expensive toys. Colored pencils and homemade play-dough are great for keeping youngsters occupied, while old boxes, newspaper and twine can be sued to create cities, costumes and play houses. And of course there’s an added bonus to all this. Kids who are happily entertaining themselves are less likely to become bored and misbehave!
- Have a positive learning environment. When your child comes to you for help, care or a chat, they’re ready to learn. Give them positive attention, even if only for a minute or so. It also helps to be positive about things your child is doing. When you see them doing something you like, pay attention. Give them some praise or showing them you like what they’re doing increases the chance they’ll do it again!
- Use assertive discipline. Children do best in a predictable, stable environment, so set clear rules and boundaries and follow through with appropriate consequences. If rules are broken, stay calm and follow up with fair, age-appropriate consequences, such as taking away a toy for a few minutes or limiting computer time. You also don’t have to jump on every minor indiscretion. Ignore misbehavior you think is merely an attempt to get attention. Don’t make a fuss and it may go away. And remember to praise behavior you like. Try to catch your child following rules and congratulate them for it-especially when they’re learning something new. Praise them and they’re more likely to do it again.
- Have realistic expectations. Nobody’s perfect-kids or adults-so don’t expect your child to do more (or less) than they are capable of. If you expect your child will always be polite, tidy up, or always be happy and co-operative, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, and for conflict, with your child. And don’t forget to go easy on yourself, too. You are human. You will make mistakes so don’t get too frustrated or upset. Everyone learns through experience.
- Take
care of yourself as a parent. Raising
children is a time-consuming job that can sometimes seem to take over your
whole life. But you've got to look
after your own needs too. Make sure
you’re getting some support, companionship, recreation and even a little time
alone! If you find ways to balance
work and family, can call on assistance from friends and relatives and
work as a team with your partner, you’ll feel much better about being a
parent. You won’t get as stressed
and it will make it much easier to be patient and calm when your child
needs you.
Parenting isn't simple there is no instruction manuals or magic wand but I'm sure this
site will give you some insight and strategies and some well needed encouragement to remind you that you're not alone.
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