Our youngest child is adopted. She will be with us a year next month. Biologically she is my great niece. She went into foster care just before she turned 2. (She will be 4 in April) . She was in care for a whole year before she arrived at our home. While in care she was in two different foster homes. So before she was 3 she had lived in 4 homes ours included. In that year of me trying to get her to my home each of our family members went through a whole truck load of Primary & Mixed emotions. They went from Intense to Mild on any given day. We had optimism, anticipation, love, joy, disappointment , sadness, anger and disgust. We were excited and optimistic about her coming but disappointed and angry of all she had to go through and the wait that took place for her to arrive. With myself personally I had some difficulty with her biological mother being my niece as well. I had a wide range of emotions with that too. I hated the whole situation. My niece is a great girl who went through some really hard times. I was angry at the situation, I was hurt for her and still very much loved her and want to stay connected to her. When our daughter finally arrived last March we were delighted but the emotions didn’t stop at her arrival. She had to adjust and we had to adjust. Our youngest boy was the baby for six years and then all of a sudden he wasn’t. So it’s probably been the biggest adjustment on him. Wondering where he now fits. He has gone through some grief in loosing his baby status as well as some anger. I’ve been working through it with him by promoting positive behaviour and self control. As well my oldest son is 10 and sometimes he will say ; “I hate being the oldest because the little ones get all the attention.” Then there is the littlest one, she does get a lot of attention. It’s hard not to do that when you feel like she has been through so much in her life that you just want to make it all better for her. I just want to clearly express to my three children that they are a blessing, that they are my pride and joy. That if I had a hundred children each one would be unique and special. That each one of them fill me with love and joy.
I guess to anyone that plans to adopt I would have to say it’s the greatest gift ever. That the emotional roller coaster is worth it. While the emotions may be intense during the process they eventually will relax & become mild. Only after a year it seems like our daughter has always been with us. Both boys treat her as if she has always been here and she treats them the same. We can’t imagine what life would be like without her or what it was like before she arrived.
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