All that and a bag of chips

So I told you that I would give you more info on abusive men….I’ve been going over my notes for you & through the bible so that I can make it my own. Many of these “men” generally only have 2-3 assaults in a year because their intimidation and treat of violence is all that is needed to keep his wife and children “in check.” He tends to feel like he has the right to control his wife. Example: “I told her to shut up and she wouldn’t so I hit her.” Sometimes these men tend to say I have to control things because she can’t do it. She’s totally out of control. She can’t do things right on her own she needs me to help her do things properly. Often there is Religious (note I’m not saying Christian even if they think they are) men who manipulate the bible to force their wives to do things that are demeaning and degrading and often will attack her, physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually or spiritually if she doesn’t meet his needs in the way he wants her to. He will quote her scriptures such as; Husbands are the head of the home & wives submit yourselves to your husband. Those are biblically correct scriptures but in the hands of an abuser they are twisted to be something ugly and wrong. The abusive husband will start and finish with those scriptures but not look at the roll he is suppose to biblically take on. Ephesians 5:25 tells us this “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and give Himself up for her.” A couple of weeks ago my Pastor (John Wassell) spoke about The Parable Of The Talents in his sermon the interesting part to me was the one who received the one talent went and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money. ( the others made profit from their talents). Then his master comes back and asks what he has done with the talent….Replying the servant said “ Master I knew you to be a harsh and hard man…so I was afraid and went and hid the talent in the ground here is your talent back. Well you might say how does that tie into what you are talking about, Michelle??? Glad you asked. You see often people have a miss guided concept of God and that he is much like an abusive man….ready to thump you if you don’t do what he wants when he wants it and how he wants it! But that couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is Jesus loves us (we’re the church that is spoken of in Ephesians 5:25 not an actual building) He loved us so much that he was totally selfless and give himself up for us. Doesn’t exactly sound like a double fisted kangaroo to me, brother if you know what I mean!!! ( Hulk Hogan quote from TNA that Brad and I got a kick out of and may say regularly now) Jesus doesn’t have the all about me syndrome or you better do it this way or else attitude. He loves us and gives himself up for us and that is what husbands are called to do for their wives and often abusers forget that when they are going by the bible to justify their abuse toward their spouse. Here’s the deal about abusers and their kids…again like their wives they own their kids and have the right to do what ever they want to them. They have a high entitlement attitude! They are self-centred, use the children to meet their own needs, manipulate the kids and tend to have low involvement in infant care. Infants tend to not be that interesting to abusers because they don’t want to have to meet someone’s needs and infants as we know are all about needing us as parents to meet their needs. Once they get older and can meet some of their own need then the abusive dad generally takes a bit more interest in them. Abusive dads tend to undermine Mom’s authority, interfere with Mom’s parenting, use the children as weapons and sow division between Mom and the children. Their parenting style tends to be authoritarian, under-involved, neglectful and reckless. Often the abusive dad looks like the best dad ever to the outside world and is often found psychologically abusive to his children. However Ephesians 6:4 tells dads this: “Fathers do not irritate and provoke your children to anger (do not exasperate them to resentment), but rear them (tenderly) in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord.” and Luke 17:1 and 2 tells us this Jesus told his disciples, "Situations that cause people to lose their faith are certain to arise. But how horrible it will be for the person who causes someone to lose his faith! It would be best for that person to be thrown into the sea with a large stone hung around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to lose his faith." So I’m thinking these verses are self explanatory….if you hurt kids look out!!! Bottom line you’re going to get it!!! So again if you want to be a true man…you know a man’s man!!! The guy who is all that and a bag a chips! Try loving your wife and kids unconditionally and putting them above yourself I can almost guarantee that you will reap more benefits that way then by putting your fist down and demanding your wife and children to obey and provide for your every want and desire while you treat them like trash and never meet their needs.