The Tyrannical Boss much like a batterer

Well on Tuesday I went to training by Lundy Bancroft who happens to look enough like Rick Moranis (remember Honey I Shrunk The Kids dad) that I would have enjoyed the day even if he had said nothing of value. The contrary is true though he had so much good information I don’t even know where to begin….so I will start with the exercise he got us to do. He got us to break into groups of 4 and discuss with each other the worst boss we had ever had. How that boss affected us. What was the impact on our co-workers? And what effect did that boss have on relationships among co-workers? Well I know a boss that belittles all staff that is beneath her and when I say beneath her I truly mean for you to note the sarcasm. I had a job that I truly loved. LOVED, LOVED, LOVED! However the politics of that place of employment were despicable. As mentioned the boss would belittle people who would bend over backwards for her and come in every time they were called and stay late. Only to be treated with disrespect, judgment, accusations and threats. Making staff cry in staff meetings by intimidation. I was on the receiving end of the threats more than once….I will give you an example. I had an extremely sad schedule…in the 21/2 years I worked there I only had 2 weekends off because they fell on my vacation time I took. As well I worked shift work and I would go from working an all night to the next day being my day off and then the next day being a day shift. Or any other unpleasantness you could conger up in your mind. Not saying nobody else had horrendous shifts but I’m saying occasionally that was soothed by the fact that they had a weekend off. So when I went to my administrator and said I haven’t had a weekend off in 2 1/2 years her reply was 2 fold. Firstly she played the mind game of you are such a valuable worker I need you there on the weekends because the Supervisors are off. A little ego stroking will never hurt, right??? However this is what followed (knowing I was recently a single mom with no child support); well you could always go down to part time and then maybe you could get some weekends off. Knowing I would be losing 3 dollars an hour and my benefits when she said that. So I’ll stroke your ego then I’ll stick a knife in you while your guard is down. NICE really nice. That was the day I began to actively pursue other employment. (Which I found and I now have the best boss ever I’ll save that for another blog). I can tell you the impact she has on other co-workers is she makes them a wreck. I have friends that have gone to the doctor because of the stress of work not because the clients are hard to deal with but because the director is. As far as relationships between co-workers she promotes workers to tattle on each other to get ahead and be in her good graces. It’s interesting that the speaker said The Tyrannical Boss has a lot in common with batterers. They have core similarities that they are controlling and intimidating. Often found to have entitlement issues (you know do as I say not as I do) and be very self-centred. Every thing is about them. They believe they are the victims, they are manipulative but they have a very good public image. As well they are often found to be disrespectful, superior, depersonalizing, punishes people, retaliates, finds their abusive behaviour rewarding and has the mentality of ownership of their staff and objectification of their staff…..hmmmm have you ever had a bad boss? Did they sound like this? Then you can relate to women who are being battered. How would you feel if you had a boss like this and someone said to you… “I just don’t think you guys are a good mix.” Or maybe “If you stay you’re as much of the problem” or “you should work it out maybe you should go to counselling.” Or perhaps “what do you do to provoke that kind of treatment.” You would feel wronged yet many women are in that type of situation and worse in their own home and feel there is no way out because of many reasons be it financial, educational, religious or fear. Yet we judge them and think they are the problem. This is probably the first of a few posts on the information I was given on Tuesday. Hope you enjoy it!