Work and Pleasure!

So June15th & 16th I went to my first AGM for:
New Brunswick Family and Early Childhood Educators/ Interventions
It was their 14th annual general meeting but my 1st, I really enjoyed it.
We signed in at 11am Wednesday morning having our general meeting at 1pm. Giving us time to go to lunch.
We had lunch and a local eating establishment…
The Gables Restaurant
143 Water St.
It was very cute, very fishermen like!!!
I had fish and chips of course!!! If you are at St Andrews BY THE SEA you almost have to do some kind of sea food wouldn’t you???
Our second day as far as eating went ….town was so very busy Tims was our breakfast and lunch destination!

 ********************************************************
We were in St Andrews by the sea...
Staying at the lovely Algonquin Hotel! 
Tranquility, history and elegance intersect at this magnificent Atlantic Canada iconic resort hotel where Maritime history and tradition come alive. (that line is from their website). However even though it wasn’t my line I tend to agree GREAT hotel and the beds TO DIE FOR!!! I never thought of bed bugs once and if you knew me well you would be impressed with that)!

http://www.fairmont.com/algonquin

*************************************************************
Supper and Social Event
We went via bus from the Algonquin to Minister’s Island. We had a wonderful BBQ there with Chicken and Salmon and all kinds of salads and the trimmings!!! YUM! (while listening to bagpipes HELLO)!
We did a tour of Sir William Van Horne’s summer estate! BEAUTIFUL!

Ministers Island—an experience like no other
Ministers Island is an enchanting place to experience. Lying just off the shore near St. Andrews, New Brunswick, Canada, this 500-acre island is only a part-time island. You reach it by driving over the seafloor approximately 1 kilometre (1/2 mile).
Once there, you are immersed in an experience from the late 19th and early 20th century— the summer estate of Sir William Van Horne, the first president of and the driving force behind the Canadian Pacific Railway.
Sir William's vast house, his equally large barn and his bathhouse / artist's hideaway are on view, as are the beautiful carriage lanes through woods and fields.
Time stands still, and you're swept up in an atmosphere that makes you forget all about your everyday life and the here-and-now.
Come explore! We're waiting to welcome you. ( just couldn’t believe in a summer home in the late 19th century there would be 17 bedrooms and 11 bathrooms, it makes my place see SO small)!

http://www.ministersisland.net/

While we were on the island we had a speech from Honourable Jody Carr, Minister of Education and Early Childhood Development. He was actually very good and appeared sincere in his hopes for Early Childhood. He was down to earth and willing to share from his childhood the struggle he went through and how it brought him strength to be where he is today.

************************************************************
Our Workshop was by Dr. Chaya Kulkarni who is a parenting and child development expert with more than a decade of experience in the field of children’s services and early childhood education.
Our workshop was on Temperament.
We know from science that child’s development is influenced by his/her relationships and experiences those relationships present. Temperament often plays a significant role in these interactions and relationships. A child’s temperament can influence a child’s ability to regulate, to be with other children and generally react to their world including the people and the experiences they are exposed to. During the workshop, we explored.
Temperament-The characteristics, the typical behaviour, strategies for responding to children with difficult temperament.
Here are 9 proposed characteristics of temperament
Activity level (a child’s level of motor activity-active to inactive periods)
Regularity/ rhythmicity (how predictable a child is in terms of biological functions- Hunger, sleep, bowels)
Approach/withdrawal/first reactions (how easily a child accepts new things- food, places, people
Adaptability (degree to which reactions can be modified)
Sensory threshold/sensitivity (a child’s different responses in flavour, texture and temperature).
Intensity of reaction (a child’s energy level of response- A child’s reactions can be easily read or not)
Mood (amount of behaviour a child displays- some are generally happy, others may see everything as a complaint0
Distractibility (interference of stimuli changes the direction of a child’s behaviour).
Attention span/persistence (the amount of time a child is engaged in an activity).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_nzr-a_kf8

Bottom line all children & adults possess these nine characteristics to a greater or lesser degree.
The results of the NYLS was that there are 3 types of children
The difficult child (Is irregular and have unpredictable routines. Is low in approach, withdrawing from novelty. Is slow to adapt. Is intense in reactions. Displays a lot of negative moods).
The easy child (Is regular and has predictable routines. Readily approaches new things. Easily adapts to new situations. Shows a mild degree of reaction. Is positive in mood).
The slow to warm up or shy child (Withdraws in new situations. Is slow to adapt. Is low in activity level and intensity. Displays a lot of negative mood).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvVYQzsQ-CY

Knowing children have their own unique temperaments we need to learn to deal with those temperaments even when there may be more then one type found in our home or with the children we work with.
Emphasizes has been put on the importance of goodness of fit between the environment.
Goodness of fit means providing support (by meeting the needs of the child’s temperament and respecting the child’s temperament). While also providing structure (by setting limits on behaviour and meeting the needs of others).
Good fit leads to healthy development. Poor fit puts children at risk for developing behaviour problems.
The list of 9 temperament dimensions has been revised
Positive affectivity - reflects the extent to which a person feels enthusiastic, active and alert.
Activity level-child’s characteristic level of fine and gross motion.
Fearfulness-startle or distress in sudden changes of stimulation.
Anger/frustration-behaviour child displays.
Attentional orienting-Attention to or interaction with a single object for extended periods of time.
Effortful control- ability to inhibit a dominant response in order to perform a subdominant response. (you know basically self control). Provides additional means of regulating reactive tendencies. Ability to maintain focused attention for longer periods of time. Ability to refrain from touching prohibited items (toys, candy). Strongly related to children’s compliance, and development of empathy and guilt.

Parenting Styles and Temperament:
What is your parenting style?
In each group of statements, choose the one that is closest to how you would respond.

1 I believe children should be seen and not heard.
2 I enjoy the chaos of parenting.
3 I believe children can be children and also practice civility.
4 My children keep to themselves and don’t bother me much.

1 Kids need a firm hand to direct them so they behave properly.
2 Kids need freedom to learn who they are.
3 I love watching my children discover things for themselves-and I am there if they have questions.
4 My kids learn how to behave in school or at child care.

1 I have no problem saying NO to my child.
2 I hate saying NO to my child.
3 Sometimes I need to say NO to my child, and sometimes I say YES.
4 Mostly I just ignore the bad behaviour.

1 Every rule - big and little must be followed.
2 I don’t believe in lots of rules - when I am with children I want to enjoy them and have fun, not be a disciplinarian.
3 I have rules that are really important, and I expect them to be followed. But I am willing to be flexible about smaller issues.
4 Having lots of rules is too complicated - sometimes it’s just easier to ignore some behaviour.

1 I think discipline is correcting your child when they misbehave.
2 I don‘t believe in lots of discipline-my children need freedom.
3 I think discipline is teaching your child.
4 The other parent takes care of most of the discipline.

1 I‘m ok if my child is unhappy with me.
2 I want my child to like me.
3 Sometimes I need to be unpopular with my child to keep them safe and insure they do what needs to be done.
4 I‘m not sure how to get my child to like me.

1 Children must respect their parents.
2 I like it when my child is respectful, but I must admit, that’s not often. Must be the age.
3 Parents need to model the respect they expect from their child.
4 I wish my child was more respectful, but since she’s not, I try to ignore it.

1 I know exactly what my child is doing, who they are with and where they are all the time.
2 I try to keep up with my child‘s comings and goings, but sometimes they wont‘ tell me.
3 My child and I have an agreement - I will always let them know where I am and they will do the same for me.
4 I don‘t keep track of what my child is up to - they seem fine and have teachers and child care providers to watch over them.

1 I don‘t tolerate mistakes - I can see making a mistake once, but after that a child needs to be punished.
2 I think if a child doesn‘t feel successful, they will not have confidence to do well in life.
3 Some of the greatest lessons for children come from their mistakes. I try to help my children learn from their mistakes.
4 Everyone makes mistakes - I don‘t get real upset over it. He will figure it out.

1 I don‘t believe parents should be their child‘s friend - you will loose your authority over them.
2 My child is my best friend.
3 My child has other children who are friends; I need to be their parent.
4 I really don‘t understand how parents and children could be friends - we are so different from each other.

1 I don‘t tell my child much - these are adult matters.
2 I can tell my child just about anything.
3 I let my child know what is going on, especially if it affects her, but some things I need to talk with another adult about.
4 My child doesn‘t need much information; they seem to be doing fine.


Now your score….
Dominating You are a firm believer in rules and big expectations for behaviour. You show your love by expecting the best from your children, but rarely show affection. Communication is generally one way - from you to your child. Sometimes you can be ridged and harsh in correcting bad behaviour.

Permissive You show your child lots of love, give them what they ask for, communicate openly and let them do what they want most of the time. You have trouble setting and enforcing rules. You prefer to be friendly rather than a disciplinarian. Sometimes you feel like your children walk all over you.

Positive You believe children need your love but also they need rules, high expectations and guidance in order to meet these expectations. You view parenting as your most important job, and serve as a role model for your children by modelling the respect you expect from them. You believe in listening to your children, but when it comes down to it, you have the final say reading issues involving safety, values and health. Your children know what you expect and they know you will be consistent, fair and firm.

Unengaged You may feel uncomfortable about parenting because you don’t spend much time with your children. You may focus more on work or other interests. When you have your children, you often are preoccupied and not focused on them. You assume the other parent is doing a pretty good job. You aren’t sure what you can do that would be helpful anyway.

So these are 4 main parenting styles. Perhaps you have a combination of a couple of them or predominately one of them.
Ideally we would all fall under 3 Positive. So if you aren’t there yet just try to make one change that will make a difference in your relationship with your child, no matter their age.

I could give you tons more information but I do believe I gave you the meat to take away and learn from. The information that will help us to understand our children and ourselves better. And to make better choice in our parenting.

GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)
Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not turn away from it.

I had a great first AGM….hope you enjoy the pictures and the information!