Problem Solving

Continuing on with Kids Have Stress Too!



Here’s another Toolbox Activity from Kids Have Stress Too!

Problem Solving:
Some Tips for Parents

I know some days you might not believe it but as parents we are our children’s best teacher!
Most of what children already know they have learned from their parents. (This could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the day)
To begin to teach your child how to solve problems you need to set the stage for learning.
These tips are for child-size problems that they can solve on their own, or with your help.

Help Children Relax
A child with a problem may be upset, perhaps angry, perhaps hurt and crying. This is not the time to try to solve the problem. A child needs to be calm to think clearly. Help your child relax by using a relaxation strategy such as deep breathing or giving him or her a hug. If your child is unable to calm down, leave the problem solving for a better time. Remember that, because problem solving is creative and stimulates thinking, it is best not to do it right before bedtime.

Give uninterrupted time
Find a time when you will not be interrupted. Problem solving may take 15 minutes or more. You do not want to feel hurried.

Be a Coach
Your job is to help your child articulate the problem and come up with some solutions that might work. The best thing you can do is ask questions, and let your child do the thinking. (I have to say I struggle sometimes with wanting to be the one to fix and solve everything my way so I have to remember it’s their problem and ultimately their situation) Listen to your child’s ideas and give encouragement. If your child is unable to think of solutions, suggest some of your own.
• Do not solve the problem for your child.
• Ask questions to help your child think through the problem and the solutions.
• Allow your child to come up with possible solutions. Some might seem reasonable, others silly.
• Encourage your child to find as many solutions as possible.
• Do not criticize your child’s solutions.
• Listen very carefully to what your child says and observe how your child feels.
• Offer suggestions if your child is stuck and can’t think of any solutions.
• Let your child choose a solution to try.
• Help your child to think ahead to see if the chosen solution might work.

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